What makes a narcissist?
Etel Leit
Do you know what a narcissist is? Well, social media has been a helpful resource in spreading awareness. There are hundreds if not thousands of new reels every day about this phenomenon. Some reels are educational, some are funny, and some are storytelling of relationships with a narcissist.
There are many great informative reels, but with it, it has become a trend to capture followers.
Big red light!
Some trends overuse the diagnosis of a narcissist and allow people to label anyone with a very serious diagnosis.
Sometimes social media can create misguiding.
What is a narcissist?
A narcissist is a label for someone who believes they are always superior to others. This is a clinical disorder, and they must meet the criteria to be labeled. Oftentimes a narcissist can not empathize or care for others.
This label has recently been heavily overused. Many trends through the media have gone around, making this term far too common. Instead of meeting the criteria, many people have started to label people based on small acts. Things like having high self-esteem can easily be mistaken for narcissism.
What does mis-labeling affect?
Mislabeling someone as a narcissist can have negative effects. In relationships, this can lead to issues with trust, communication and harmony. This can turn into blame or resentment on one partner from another. This can also allow for a partner to position themself as a “victim”.
A victim is someone who stays in the position of being hurt or affected by another. This goes beyond accepting one’s emotions. Being a victim allows for someone to pity themself. This makes a situation far more damaging.
How to identify a real narcissist
Lacking empathy
Narcissists tend to struggle to notice or care about how other people are feeling. This also means they will rarely say sorry. This is because they never believe they could be in the wrong. If your partner or someone you know does this, they could have a narcissistic qualifying characteristic.
Lacking long-time friends
Because of their toxic qualities, it is common for narcissists to get into conflict. This conflict can lead to the loss of many friends and family members. On top of that, they tend to be insecure. This can lead to lashing out when around others. All of this is a telltale sign of a real narcissist.
Gaslighting
Narcissists can often resort to gaslighting in relationships. This is when they accuse, lie, or twist another’s words so they seem right. This is a form of manipulation and can be very damaging. This also allows them to gain power over you, or put you in a place of fear. This can also lead to many barriers in communication or struggle with honesty.
Bullying
It is normal in relationships for partners/friends to poke fun at each other. However, narcissists can often cross the line. Their jokes can move from playful too aggressive and hurtful. This can have clear effects on their relationships as the negative energy will become repulsive. It’s important to set boundaries in your relationships, especially if you notice bullying!
Taking over
We all love to talk about our stories and create conversations about our experiences. This is totally normal! It is also normal to allow other people to have part of the conversation, telling their stories. A narcissist does not follow these normal characteristics! Instead, they hog conversations, never allowing the attention to move away from themselves! This can be very obvious and frustrating.
Seems like a dream
This last one is one of the most important hints. Because they believe they themselves are special, narcissists believe only special people can surround them. This means that at the beginning of a relationship, they will treat you as gold. But, as time goes on, this quickly fades. The close connections at the start of the relationship can disappear and twist. It is important to be cautious and not move too quickly! Make sure to set boundaries, especially so you don’t fall into codependency!
These are all just a few ways you can identify a real narcissist! It is important to properly use this label! All too often, it is misused and produces negative effects on relationships. Next time you run into an issue, make sure to communicate and look out for red flags!