Keeping secrets is not a new concept to most of us, but secrets cause more damage than we know! Most of the time we keep secrets because we feel guilty, or scared. These feelings can lead to us hiding our true feelings, or not speaking up for ourselves. This can also lead to bad habits like not being 100% honest with our partners.
Through clients reaching out and messaging, I’ve heard all sorts of stories. Tales of white lies that were told to protect their partner. Or maybe a big lie told in effort to save an argument. No matter the case, secrets only cause damage!
Why are secrets damaging?
The more secrets you keep, the less trust that is built and the more communication that is avoided. The most important thing in a relationship is communication and honesty. If you do not feel comfortable or safe enough to be truthful, it’s toxic!
Every relationship should be built on trust! Your partner should be willing to listen with an open mind and heart. Don’t fear being your true self or telling your truth! Although it seems impossible or scary, you can do it.
How does it affect your relationship?
Secrets can affect your relationship in many ways. Although it may seem like it is sometimes better not to share, secrets do far more damage than good. To help you understand, I’ve gathered a few examples. Take the time to reflect and respond!
Building barriers
Keeping secrets builds up barriers for communication. The more you hold off on sharing the truth, the harder it gets. Secrets continue to cause damage as they grow! It is better to communicate from the start and work out issues. Letting something sit only makes the problem worse!
Creates patterns
Humans are creatures of habit. The second we get used to doing something it’s so easy to repeat! Sadly this means once we get used to keeping secrets, we keep doing it. Relationships are meant to be built on trust and honesty. A bond between you and your partner is formed through intimacy and relation! Practicing a pattern of keeping secrets damages this process.
Instead, you should try to build a pattern of communication. This will allow you and your partner to increase your trust and bond. This will lead to a healthy blossoming relationship.
It makes you sick!
Believe it or not, holding secrets damages your health. This is because it causes more stress and guilt on your body! This stress can come out through headaches, sleep issues or even stomach aches.
A lot of times people keep secrets because of their guilt. But keeping them only adds to this making it doubly damaging. Instead it is found that the truth is a scary but simple solution.
There are many more ways that secrets damage relationships, but most go unheard. Take the time to reflect on your honesty and connection with your partner. Practice being transparent and build strong bonds of communication!
It might be really hard at first, but it’s worth it.
