Have you ever been in a relationship where loving yourself wasn’t a priority? Where you’ve had to put your partner’s needs before your own? If this applies to you, you probably remember the emotional drainage and lack of mental wellbeing that possessed you. This is not a place that you should want to go back to, no matter how tempting the other person may be.
Believe it or not, loving yourself should be the priority in most cases. When you develop the confidence and security that you were once missing, you’ll find that navigating your relationships will become much easier. No more are the days when you settle for toxic partners. By loving yourself, you give yourself what you need.
It sounds simple, but practicing confidence and self-love is one of society’s most challenging tasks right down to the individual. Loving yourself is a scary thing, but why? Simply put, we just aren’t used to it. We’re used to people pleasing, but by engaging in behavior like people pleasing, we are engaging in a toxic relationship with ourselves.
Why Is It Scary to Love Yourself?
Many people lack the skills to pursue self-care simply because it is scary. It’s scary because we don’t want to be perceived as lonely in our subconscious (even consciously in severe cases). This behavior is present in every modern aspect of our lives. There’s a reason why you post only your best pictures on Instagram, stalk your unfollows, try to change relationships that don’t benefit you, and so on. The list can run for miles the more you chase the feeling of engagement and popularity in your own sphere.
It’s important to remember that loving yourself to the best ability will help you rid of toxic habits like the ones listed above. Have you caught yourself in a vicious cycle of chasing attention by any means possible? This makes people so susceptible to landing themselves in relationships where you spend the majority of your energy on changing the other person despite their treatment towards you. It’s important to consider that the attention that you feel is missing is most likely missing from yourself.
How Can You Practice Loving Yourself?
Self-confidence and learning the development of loving yourself is a journey that is no overnight fix. That doesn’t mean you have to struggle the whole way through, though! Here are a few self-care-filled ways that you can practice loving yourself more.
Explore Your Own Interests Freely
Learning how to do something new can be fruitful in more ways than one. Because it takes true effort to improve, you might as well improve yourself in the most fun ways possible! If you’ve always wanted to learn how to cook, sign up for a local class. Are you sporty? Check out that new gym you’ve been eyeing. How about artsy? Then create with zero boundaries. Create things without fearing how it’ll turn out. Just like trusting the process, you need to trust yourself, too. There’s nobody there to hold you back. Why should you?
Take Yourself Out
Many people avoid self-love because they don’t want to be perceived as lonely. But we must tell ourselves: being alone does not equate to loneliness! In fact, there’s a special kind of perspective that individuals take on when they adventure on their own. You don’t need a date to see that new superhero movie – you can simply just go on your own. It’s totally and completely okay. Loving yourself is found in the small things. Go on your own adventures, whether you take a small grocery trip by yourself or hop on a plane to the next country.
Practice Loving Yourself in Your Current Relationships
Now, practicing the act of loving yourself does not mean you have to isolate yourself from others completely! It is possible to continue this practice in your current relationships, whether it be romantic, familiar, or platonic. The first step is setting your own boundaries. By respecting yourself in the presence of others, you’ll become a force that can’t be taken advantage of. All while being completely lovable.
Try to answer this thoughtfully: when was the last time that you genuinely put aside a day for yourself? If it’s been a week, if it’s been months, it doesn’t matter. What does is that you deserve more of the good treatment that you give others by loving yourself. Give it a try, and it’s not so bad! You might just find that loving yourself is the relationship you were looking for.
