Dr. Etel Leit

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Fatherhood is Beyond Biology

With Father’s Day just around the bend, let’s explore the various roles, good and bad, fathers can play in our lives.

What does Father’s Day mean to you? For some, it’s a day of celebration and gratitude, filled with backyard barbeques and dad jokes galore. But for others, it can also be a day tinged with pain, loss, or other complicated feelings. The truth is fatherhood, just like any other relationship, can be messy and incredibly intricate. It’s not all fond memories and good vibes; it’s real, raw, and often imperfect.

So, let’s take this moment to really delve deep into the complexities of what it means to have a dad. Whether your father is a role model, a figure you’ve struggled to connect with, or even someone who doesn’t fit the traditional mold, there’s value in each experience. And yes, not all fathers are amazing but don’t worry, even the not-so-great dads can serve as sources of profound learning and growth. This Father’s Day? Let’s celebrate everything a dad can be: the joys, the disappointments, and everything in between.

Real-Life Superheroes

Dad’s do a whole lotta work for the family. Traditionally, they’re supposed to be the pillar, the one who can always fix anything and be there for you in your times of need. They help shape our ideals in life, and are always there to steady the ship when we might stray away from the right path. These types of fathers are amazing, and they truly show us what it means to work hard and play hard.

However, every superhero has their own weakness. Fathers are people just like us. They have their own flaws, struggles, and limitations. But in no way do these things diminish the greatness of what they do. Seeing them as real people allows us to have more realistic and compassionate expectations for ourselves and others. They also teach us that it’s ok to fail, it’s about how you fail, and what you gain from it. The resilience they show in the face of adversity and the ability to overcome and grow from their shortcomings is what makes dads so special.

Blood is Thicker than Water…Or is it?

Who says you can only have one father figure? The essence of what it means to be a dad extends beyond just biological ties. Many people have father figures who aren’t their actual dads but have still significantly influenced their lives. They can be stepfathers, uncles, grandparents, or even family friends. What matters is that they can provide the emotional and practical support we often associate with having a dad. Fatherhood is about the quality of the relationship, not just one’s genetic ties.

Lessons From Not-so-Great Dads

Not all fathers are great role models or mentors. Some may be absent, neglectful, or even abusive. These experiences can tragically leave lasting scars on a person’s life but can also be unexpected sources of growth. We have to acknowledge the pain and disappointment that can come from these relationships while also recognizing the spiritual strength that can emerge from moving past them.

Imperfect fathers can also serve opportunities for learning. Don’t repeat the same mistakes, and strive to break cycles of dysfunction by developing healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Inadvertently, they can show us the importance of proper love, empathy, and care, lessons that you may want to pass onto your own children.

This Father’s Day, let’s embrace fatherhood in all its various forms, both good and bad.

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