Ever found yourself stressed out over a text that wasn’t replied to? You’re not alone.
Last week, a client shared a story that probably many of you could empathize with. She had been waiting for a text that simply never arrived. As hours turned into a day, her anxiety grew. Each vibration of her phone sent a pulse of hope through her heart, only to be met with disappointment when it was just another random email. What went wrong? They had similar hobbies, even similar tastes in music, the chemistry was off the charts. But then, silence…
This incident isn’t just a personal anecdote; it’s a snapshot of just how difficult it’s become to properly talk to each other in this world of digital communication.
The Weight of Waiting
Technology has completely transformed our way of communicating. They make interactions instant but also paradoxically sometimes more uncertain. The wait time for supposedly instant communication can become unbearably long, and the silence is deafening. Unlike face-to-face interactions, there are no context or emotional cues for you to better understand the other person’s intentions. For better or for worse, texts leave much to the imagination.
Hint: It’s usually for the worse.
Deciphering what silence can mean is impossible. Is the other person just having a busy day? Are they actively snubbing you? Maybe they’re just enjoying their afternoon nap? Although there are countless possibilities for why you haven’t gotten a reply yet, our brains tend to veer to the worst outcomes. Reality is far less dramatic than what your fantastic imagination can come up with, and you need to remind yourself of that. What felt like an eternity could’ve just been ten minutes off the clock. You might feel that your whole world is stuck inside a screen but don’t forget that there’s another beautiful one separate from your phone that you can engage in and explore. Real-world interaction can help take your mind off what’s happening online, reducing the anxiety you feel when waiting for that reply. Remember, it’s okay to step away for a sec.
“While technology creates more connections for us online, it cannot create the one thing that we rely on to create a genuine bond with another – the hormone Oxytocin.”
My newest book, The Emotional Code
Navigating the Art of Texting
An ignored text message is a common problem, but it’s just one issue among many that people face in the world of communication through text. Here’s some things you can do to make texting a positive experience for both sides.
- Emojis: These little expressive icons carry significant weight in online communication. Be sure to include them in your repertoire, as one can make or break a message.
“kk” or “kk😊”
See the difference?
- Set Expectations: Communicate your texting habits and expectations to your partner so that misunderstandings and overthinking will be avoided.
- Send out Good Energy: Be encouraging! Be affectionate and affirming! Share moments that made you happy. Texting doesn’t need to be boring or logistical only. Make it so that the other person feels included in your life.
When Texting Doesn’t Work
While texting offers convenience, it lacks the immediacy and emotional nuance of voice calls. Here are a few scenarios when picking up the phone might be the better choice:
- Resolving Conflicts: Texts can easily be misinterpreted, especially in heated situations. A phone call can clarify intentions and tone in a snap.
- Discussing Complex Issues: Lengthy or complicated topics are better handled in real-time conversations.
- Reconnecting Emotionally: Sometimes, all you need is to hear the other person’s voice. Give them a ring.
In a world where “out of sight” can mean “out of mind,” it’s important to remember that good communication-whether digital or not-is the backbone of any strong relationship. Understanding the silent signals and unspoken rules of texting can help mitigate all that stress you get from modern communication. Turn those potential misunderstandings into opportunities for stronger connections.
