DO YOU THINK YOU ARE A GOOD COMMUNICATOR?
Telephone, messages, emails, social media, people are talking with others every day. We rely on communication to create family, friendship, find a job, even order dinner. But, do we really know how to communicate? If Yes, then why do you sometimes find it challenging to communicate with others?
People learn how to bake, how to write in excel, and how to drive. But they take communication skills for granted as if it was a skill we are born with. Wrong. Communication skill is like learning a new language, and we need to learn and practice it. Here’s 6 barrier you may have in communication.
5 Common Barriers in Communication
1. Lack of Active Listening: People crave to be listened to, we all have the deep need to be heard. Without active listening, communication won’t exist. It is impossible to communicate with someone if you don’t pay attention to their needs. Active listening skills can you have a better understanding of other’s points of view and give you a more significant opportunity to provide feedback.
2. Communication Style: Everybody has their personal communication style. One might like to be direct, and one might prefer a less direct approach. However, some will confuse with being direct and being aggressive. The latter can rock any conversation, who likes to be attacked? In communication, if one of the parties is too aggressive, it will quickly lead to the situation of communication failure.
3. Not Being Clear About One’s Needs: Sometimes, we are not even clear about our needs, and we expect the other person to guess them or fill the blank for us. It might be frustrating when our listener doesn’t get the point that we’re trying to say. Nevertheless, it is highly possible that they will not get it because they are not us. Thus, be patient when you ask for help and thoroughly explain your needs to your partner and clarity. If you need to pause and make it clear to yourself first, take the time to yourself. No one is a mind reader. The more precise you are, the better the communication.
4. Honesty & Trust: It is extremely tough to communicate when people manipulate the truth or even dishonest. When someone is lying to you while you are trying to talk or listen might break your trust, when the trust was broken, building it takes time. Then the person who got hurt projects past experience or feelings on this communication. Do not give up, as trust can be built again with an open conversation.
5. Reacting VS Responding: Some have the urge to react emotionally rather than respond rationally. Having a bad temper during communication will be a barrier. Losing your temper when you disagree with what the other person is saying will only disappoint them and drive them away from you. When a gush of feeling floods you, try to pause, use the 6-3-6 breathing technique (breathing in 6 counts, pause for 3 counts, and let the air out in 6 counts).
Communication is a learned skill. Think about how your parents communicated with you, did you like it? Are you mimicking their behavior? Communication is not only important between adults. It is also one primary skill that children need to learn to develop their personality and social skills in the world. Learning to be a better communicator and what makes communication healthy could be the key that helps them be a more successful person when they are adults. Therefore, how parents communicate with their children is the core because children are learning from watching. This is the foundation of communication for a lifetime. This is a social, intellectual, and cultural skill we must teach our kids even before learning how to read.
Next time you communicate with another person, especially someone you love and feel comfortable with, watch yourself from the outside. Observe how you communicate and express yourself with words, body language, and tone of voice. Would you like another person to connect with you the same way? Are you listening or wanting to be heard? It takes awareness and practice to be good at communication. Start with the first step.
